Friday, June 19, 2015

Too much wanting! How to cope with disappointment

I should be sailing away into the Desolation Sound tomorrow to celebrate the summer solstice on Pearl.  We have been planning this Solstice sail for weeks now--the house sitter arranged, the garden deep watered, the special solstice food prepared.  Today we hear that our oyster seed for 2016 is arriving on Sunday.  Just like the farmer cannot tell the lambs when to be born, the shellfish farmer cannot control when the oyster spat is ready.  This change in plans cannot be avoided and is no one's fault, but how to cope with the disappointment?

My first response is to clean something.  Really clean something, not just go over the surface.   Mop the floor, dust all the book jackets, clean the boot trays. When I am disappointed, my energy feels low and heavy, like disappointment is a weight that suddenly I am carrying with me everywhere.  When I clean in service to raising the vibration of my living space--it raises my vibration also.

Another response to disappointment is to go outside and work with my hands in something. Top dressing the container pots to prevent water loss and clearing the pond help me let go of the mental turmoil created by my continually telling myself the story of what was supposed to happen, Working in water and soil grounds my mental fantasy back into the practicality of what is happening.

Finally, I cope by not having a hard opinion of myself for feeling disappointment in the first place. It's OK to honestly feel the frustration and sadness of loss, but not so helpful to attach to it. Instead it's valuable to gain perspective.   I think I'll do a Journey Oracle reading to understand the teaching of this situation in its larger context. And this is the perfect question to take to the Oracle: "Why so much wanting?"