When I first asked to become a student of the spirit world, I was given a sort of a riddle to answer. I was on a high plateau looking out at an immense sweep of land stretching away into blue haze; I called out to everything, saying, "Please teach me. Please be my teacher. " I received this answer in a dream: "You must ask three times." The full story of this experience became the story corresponding to card #39 in my Journey Oracle card deck. This was very puzzling to me. It felt then just like the experience I had today trying to see through fog as we returned to Gorge Harbour from a sailing trip. I knew the presence of land, of spirit, was all around me, I could feel it but I could not see it. And so like many of us who are impatient and also not paying close attention--when I awoke I immediately asked again, "Please be my teacher." The next night I woke up remembering someone saying to me, "This time the answer is no."
Of course I did not notice the significance of the phrase 'this time.' I only heard the no. I first felt dismayed and then abandoned. Was I not worthy? Was I not a child of this spirit world also? And then I remembered the first answer. The sensation was just like seeing a form in the fog, and for a moment not understanding it, and then suddenly recognizing where you are.
Then, and today, I felt courage was the ability to keep moving forward on faith. I am remembering a quote in The Very Air, by Douglas Bauer: "Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1. And so I asked a third time, "Will you be my teacher?" I brought humility and respect instead of self-centered impatience, and the answer was yes. This entire asking of spirit was a first lesson--pay attention, listen, remember. And just like today, the fog cleared, and I knew where I was.
