Although for many years I have celebrated winter solstice as the returning of the light with the rebirth of the solar king, this year I had a profound experience that revealed another aspect to the spiritual meaning of winter solstice. The stoy began with a buck deer that entangled his antlers in our garden net fence. I could not imagine how I could rescue him by myself and so I went looking for some "man help." When I asked my nearest neighbor if her man was at home and explained my need, she replied with, "Is he really necessary?"We decided not and so armed with wire cutters and scissors we approached the frightened and understandably aggressive two year old deer. As we tried to get close enough to cut the fencing, and he tried more frantically to escape, he became more horribly tangled in wire and net. My neighbor did manage to get one side of the fencing cut free, which gave the buck much more mobility--making it impossible for us to get close enough to cut the other side. After he charged me while I was holding a piece of plywood as a shield for my wire cutting attempt, and fortunately hit the wood before knocking me several feet back into the salal, we decided release was not going to work. There has been increased wolf activity in our Cortes neighborhood again, and leaving him snarled to become easy wolf food seemed unacceptably cruel.
Thank Goddess for young country women who have guns and know how to use them. My neighbor returned with a 22 and after exhausting, again, all the other versions we could think of, killed the deer with one shot. What tragic and intensly spiritual moments passed as we witnessed his death. With great care we cut him free in death from what we could not help him escape in life. We skinned and field dressed the body, proceeding slowly and offering gifts of sweetgrass and hand-made beads to his spirit to please forgive us for not being able to save him. I held his still warm heart in my hands and offered prayers of thankyou for this opportunity to receive this understanding of sacrifice as the deeper meaning of winter solstice.
It seemed inappropriate for us to take any part of the deer as food for ourselves and so yesterday, on the solstice, we took the carcass by boat to one of the islands outside Gorge Harbour so that the eagles and vultures could have a winter feast--maybe the wolves would also swim over from Cortes and Marina Island and be able to eat well without being drawn near human habitation. As my neighbor and I stood on that rocky outcropping, looking back into the now unseeing eyes of the young deer, its forehead covered with unbraided strands of sweetgrass and tears, I thought about how the deer's death was useful sacrifice, so that like the sun, it will be reborn in many life forms.
The three days of winter solstice 2010 also encompassed the three days of the December full moon. This experience happened on the first, or Maiden day. The full moon day of the Mother was the time of taking the deer to all the wild creatures trying to find food in this dark time. This third day of the Crone belongs to the Oracle, and here I tell this story as an oracle speaking of the sacrifice of death that feeds life--the spiritual meaning of winter solstice.
